entries will often come in this way now i guess. early morning inspiration on the bus. musings in the freezing office. an email to my acc. a post on my blog.
it works.
it has truly been a big 15 hours or so. but would pray that something good comes up from all this, that at the end of what God has given to me or shown to me the past 15 hours. has not been flushed down the toilet bowl. or be ignored after the next 15 hours of my life.
life's simplicity is most evident in the things we take for granted, and i realized that i have definitely more things, MUCH more things to be thankful about, then what i would normally have realized. things which you give thanks for that would sound cliche any other given day, but all it takes is a moment, to realize that you have so much, you bear so much potential, and there is so much to be thankful for that you overlook it.
and put your head to your hands in shame.
its not that i have been wanting to be preoccupied with things that run over my head, but its about time, when the tyre is about to touch to road, decisions have to be made, albeit painful and excruiciating ones, not being able to take the well-trodden single lane road anymore. the point where the road splits into a fork, and you knowing that once you go that way. there aint gonna be no turning back. for now at least.
pompous as it may sound, i would have to say, potential i have much, decisiveness i have none. even when i come to a work, and meet strangers they would tell me about how i should not waste my time staying here (hurh.hurh), that ppl with my grades should open their wings, get some govt money and FLY. unlike some other folk in my category, a wannabe flier was never a key point on my resume (which btw, looks totally crappy compared to some others. i swear. maybe i just cant sell myself well. i aint gonna do marketing. so shoot me). but one thing i know for sure. even though the essays may kill me, and rip me apart inside. i will, apply for the scholarships. somehow, someway.
i learnt one thing about regret yday:
never live your life in regret, because (don't kid yourself), in one point you really wanted it that way.
don't bull yourself kid. don't bull yourself.
to those who are taking (or will have taken by the time i post this) their A level results today. Godspeed friends. His ways. are above our ways. His plans above ours.:)
be careful what you wish for
because you just might get it all
sometimes you dont want
trust me. inspiration often comes from the MOST unexpected of places. you just gotta stand amazed. truly.
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